Supporting a cause VS being confrontational about it

I've yet to come right out and say this on my blog because I have no idea who reads it. I know my Mom's read a couple of my photography-related posts that were linked to from Flickr, but I don't think she reads it regularly. Anyway, I consider myself bi. There. That should be fun if my family finds it...

Anyway, I deeply believe in supporting gay rights. In fact, I can't understand how anyone can deny that it's a cut and dry civil rights issue. So, there's a part of me that wants to put that HRC sticker on the back of my car.

Similarly, I want a Darwin Fish or something to counter all the religious cr@p people put on the backs of their cars.

Both are reactions to feeling attacked. Is it really a fault to be attracted to people of the same sex? Science says it's not a choice, and I have felt this way all my life. My only choice was to restrict myself to men and the result is that I've always questioned myself to the point where I felt asexual at times. Everything in my life has to be carefully controlled and outwardly perfect just like I was raised to be when our family was being torn apart by alcoholism. (Which is no one's fault, it's just a disease we need to find better treatments for.)

And, the religious (Christian) fundamentals (I try hard not to lump everyone into that group, but...) are trying to push science out of schools when our schools are doing so poorly already. They interrupt a Hindu guest's opening prayer in the Senate, while calling for more religious tolerance (huh?). And they fight to exclude the recognition of other religions by protesting stores that wish people "Happy Holidays" rather than restrict their kindness to Christians by wishing their customers a "Merry Christmas".

So, what am I to do? I feel the need to fight back. Explain my views. So, I started thinking about getting a couple bumper stickers. Until...

I walked into Starbucks one day, ordered a mocha, and went to sit down. I noticed that the lady beside working feverishly on her laptop had a rainbow sticker on there. Cool. She's a "friendly". I went on with my sipping, reading my cup, talking to Ed, etc. Then, I glanced over again and looked at the rest of the stickers on her laptop. Wow. There must have been at least 10 -the whole top was covered in stickers, and every last one of them related to her sexuality.

It was then that I realized that that's not who I want to be. Despite our similar positions on GLBT issues, she's more like the people I hate than those I'd want to align myself with. The problem -no matter what side of either debate we are on, is militantism. So, you're a Christian and I'm an atheist. As long as we respect each other's beliefs, why does it matter? Don't try to push me to believe what you believe, and I won't argue with you about why I think your beliefs are silly. End of story. -Sure, gay marriage isn't quite as easily dismissed because there's laws being considered, and that means a side must be taken, and a vote cast either for or against. But, if that same mindset were applied, I think we'd all be better off.

To push this (probably farther than I should) -I mean, what are the arguments against gay marriage? Well, you have a majority Christian nation who's led by a church who interprets one line in the Old Testament as saying homosexuality is bad. (Of course, that line is just a few pages away from several lines explaining that God wants you to make sacrifices of "burnt flesh" to him, but hey, that's the OLD Testament, no one really believes that stuff anym... oh, wait...). And the other argument is that it'd corrupt heterosexual marriage (how is that, exactly?). The one issue that may hold water is homosexual couples raising children, but that's a seperate issue anyway, isn't it? I mean, a gay couple can't produce children on their own... Yes, I know they can find a donor and produce a child that way -my answer for that is this: There are no parenting classes or consideration given to heterosexual couples who want to marry. Known violent offenders can marry anyone, including each other. Retarded couples can marry and have children...

Blah. This is just making me angrier. What do I, as a reasonable adult do? Fight back and add to the horde of people who take an in-your-face stance on their positions? Or do I sit back down and just hope people come to their senses on their own. One thing's for sure, you'll never change anyone's mind with a bumper sticker. So, how do you quietly make your arguments known? Perhaps my answer lies in my first reaction to the woman in Starbucks when I thought she just had one rainbow sticker... Hmm...

A correction about the Starbucks woman is here.