Not quite.
...I never dreamed of being a writer, but in an attempt to get a bit more serious about my offering professional photography lessons, I've started writing a book(let) to give to my future students.
Basically, I've had the lesson plans written up for a year. I've had a few inquiries about the lessons, but I've either met up with them for a day of shooting for free rather than give formal lessons because I felt they knew enough to not make it worth their time/money, or they've not responded after I gave them my price (despite attempting several different prices), or I've had to say no because it's winter and I have no location where I can hold the lessons and do the practice shots that are a big part of the lessons.
But, spring's around the corner. I've brushed up my webpage, set firm pricing and made it public, and that leaves one thing holding me back from publicizing it more. -My presentation.
Originally, I made a Powerpoint slideshow to go with the lesson plan, but the more I thought about it the worse of an idea that seemed to be. My laptop's battery is dead, I don't have a projector, and if I'm giving lessons outside (which is the plan) the bright light won't make seeing my screen or a projection very easy.
So, putting it on paper seemed logical. There's a few upsides to doing it this way as well. I could charge extra if they want to take home a copy (although that seems a bit wrong), and it could be used for the online course I'm thinking about starting. If I decide to try online lessons, writing up this booklet would be a big step in getting ready for that. And the idea would be that the cost of the online lessons would be purchasing a copy of the "book" from cafepress or whoever I decide to get to self-publish it.
...anyway, it feels like I got something done today. It's been awhile. Being out of work is driving me crazy. Not having money is driving me crazy. It'd be nice to make a few bucks by doing some lessons. It's nice to have a project. And I've decided to try to keep my personal blog updated as well.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Friday, December 05, 2008
Escapism (from the cold!)
Every year around this time I look up the average daily temperatures online. Like, for today, the average high is 41*F and the low is 27*F. Which makes me hopeful that we'll get back up above the freezing point again soon (as I write this it's 5*F).
The temperatures fall-fall-fall through December and hit a low of an average high of 31*F on January 14, then they bounce back up and slowly make their way back up to an average high of 40*F on February 22. Can I wait that long? Why was I born at the absolute coldest time of the year? Is that some sort of cruel joke?
I guess this annual ritual is my way of trying to prepare to make it through one more winter. It's often also accompanied by pie-in-the-sky plans to move to Florida before next winter as well.
I'm just not a big fan of living in a place where being outside ranges from uncomfortable to deadly for 3 months out of the year. It's crazy. Crazier than my ritual, I assure you!
The temperatures fall-fall-fall through December and hit a low of an average high of 31*F on January 14, then they bounce back up and slowly make their way back up to an average high of 40*F on February 22. Can I wait that long? Why was I born at the absolute coldest time of the year? Is that some sort of cruel joke?
I guess this annual ritual is my way of trying to prepare to make it through one more winter. It's often also accompanied by pie-in-the-sky plans to move to Florida before next winter as well.
I'm just not a big fan of living in a place where being outside ranges from uncomfortable to deadly for 3 months out of the year. It's crazy. Crazier than my ritual, I assure you!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The $300 mistake
In July I bought a digital picture frame for my Dad for his birthday. I had originally wanted to get him a 10 inch frame or so, but I ended up purchasing a $300 15-inch frame instead because it was capable of wifi and it'd pull photos off of Flickr, so anyone in the family would be able to drop photos onto it really easy.
It turned out the frame didn't work well. It'd keep showing the same photos over and over and we couldn't figure out why it'd suddenly drop a few and seemed to be unable to display them all of a sudden. It happened when pulling photos from Flickr, or off wifi from a local computer, as well as off of a memory card, or off the internal memory. It just seemed to be a problem with the frame, so I got a 10-inch Kodak frame to replace it and packed it up and took it home so I could return it.
But, I lost the receipt for it. Believe me, I tore the house apart looking for it -it was nowhere to be seen. I must have thrown it out? I figured I'd try to return it anyway, but it just sat there as months went by because I dreaded trying to do a return without a receipt. My next plan was to eBay it and that's been on my "to do" list since I quit work in September. An easy $250 at least I thought.
...well, tonight we left Apex out of the crate while we ran to the hardware store really quick and when we got back the picture frame box was on the floor ripped to shreads. I don't know what made him go after it -it was tucked back in a corner. The power suppy is in 3 pieces, but luckily the frame itself as well as the remote is okay. The box is absolutely trashed, though -no eBaying it as "New In Box" that's for sure!
Grrr. I have a feeling we'll try to replace the power supply and just keep the frame, I don't know. All I know is that dog is not on my good side at the moment!
It turned out the frame didn't work well. It'd keep showing the same photos over and over and we couldn't figure out why it'd suddenly drop a few and seemed to be unable to display them all of a sudden. It happened when pulling photos from Flickr, or off wifi from a local computer, as well as off of a memory card, or off the internal memory. It just seemed to be a problem with the frame, so I got a 10-inch Kodak frame to replace it and packed it up and took it home so I could return it.
But, I lost the receipt for it. Believe me, I tore the house apart looking for it -it was nowhere to be seen. I must have thrown it out? I figured I'd try to return it anyway, but it just sat there as months went by because I dreaded trying to do a return without a receipt. My next plan was to eBay it and that's been on my "to do" list since I quit work in September. An easy $250 at least I thought.
...well, tonight we left Apex out of the crate while we ran to the hardware store really quick and when we got back the picture frame box was on the floor ripped to shreads. I don't know what made him go after it -it was tucked back in a corner. The power suppy is in 3 pieces, but luckily the frame itself as well as the remote is okay. The box is absolutely trashed, though -no eBaying it as "New In Box" that's for sure!
Grrr. I have a feeling we'll try to replace the power supply and just keep the frame, I don't know. All I know is that dog is not on my good side at the moment!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Religion & Politics
'Tis the season...
Two things are occupying my mind as of late. First, with Obama being our new President-Elect, I'm hoping the right's fringe who chanted hateful things about him hating America and being a Muslim realize that they were mislead. I'm not deluded enough to think they'll ever LIKE the guy, but they'll have to see that his agenda doesn't include changing our religious beliefs or helping terrorists destroy the country. And my hope is that they'll take the next step as well and wonder how they were misled, who lied to them, and probe the possible motivation behind it as well.
We, as a society, seem to be going in a direction where we look to others to tell us what to do and how to think while we follow along blindly, taking them at their word. The mortgage crisis, for example, could have been avoided if people didn't take the bank's word for what they could afford. Our mortgage company told us we could afford a $300,000 house -well, we ran the numbers, used several online calculators and we targeted half that price for our house -what WE thought we could afford. Why didn't others do the same thing? We've forgotten the mantra "buyer beware".
So, in the end, I hope people stop falling for the politics of fear and begin taking responsibility for checking on sources for the information they take in as truth. Listening to both the left and right radio hosts (as well as O'Reilly or Olberman) makes me sick. They stretch the truth until it's unrecognizable. We need to move back towards the middle as a country I think.
It's also the "Holiday Season". As the right and left settle down after the political season, another group of people are sharpening their teeth. Yes, it's highly offensive now to say "Happy Holidays" or ghod forbid write Christmas "X-mas"! Bill O'Reilly popularized this newfound anger with his book "War On Christmas".
I don't see the need for this fight. I'm a non-theist who understands that the majority of my fellow citizens are Christians. I've also learned, through observation, that Christmas has two parts. There's the Jesus in the manger part and there's the Santa Claus in the chimney part. One excludes me, the other includes everyone.
So, if the trend is to turn this religious holiday into a secular one that can be enjoyed by all and then families can decide whether or not to include the Jesus part within their circle of friends and family, I'd think we could all be happy with that. But, if the "War On Christmas" people (because it's important to acknowledge that not all religious people are in that camp) ...if the "War on Christmas" people keep this up and make Christmas a solely Christian holiday, well, you can expect more anger and fighting.
...that's why I'm a "moderate" -it's the most logical, most peaceful way. And isn't that what we should all be striving for?
Two things are occupying my mind as of late. First, with Obama being our new President-Elect, I'm hoping the right's fringe who chanted hateful things about him hating America and being a Muslim realize that they were mislead. I'm not deluded enough to think they'll ever LIKE the guy, but they'll have to see that his agenda doesn't include changing our religious beliefs or helping terrorists destroy the country. And my hope is that they'll take the next step as well and wonder how they were misled, who lied to them, and probe the possible motivation behind it as well.
We, as a society, seem to be going in a direction where we look to others to tell us what to do and how to think while we follow along blindly, taking them at their word. The mortgage crisis, for example, could have been avoided if people didn't take the bank's word for what they could afford. Our mortgage company told us we could afford a $300,000 house -well, we ran the numbers, used several online calculators and we targeted half that price for our house -what WE thought we could afford. Why didn't others do the same thing? We've forgotten the mantra "buyer beware".
So, in the end, I hope people stop falling for the politics of fear and begin taking responsibility for checking on sources for the information they take in as truth. Listening to both the left and right radio hosts (as well as O'Reilly or Olberman) makes me sick. They stretch the truth until it's unrecognizable. We need to move back towards the middle as a country I think.
It's also the "Holiday Season". As the right and left settle down after the political season, another group of people are sharpening their teeth. Yes, it's highly offensive now to say "Happy Holidays" or ghod forbid write Christmas "X-mas"! Bill O'Reilly popularized this newfound anger with his book "War On Christmas".
I don't see the need for this fight. I'm a non-theist who understands that the majority of my fellow citizens are Christians. I've also learned, through observation, that Christmas has two parts. There's the Jesus in the manger part and there's the Santa Claus in the chimney part. One excludes me, the other includes everyone.
So, if the trend is to turn this religious holiday into a secular one that can be enjoyed by all and then families can decide whether or not to include the Jesus part within their circle of friends and family, I'd think we could all be happy with that. But, if the "War On Christmas" people (because it's important to acknowledge that not all religious people are in that camp) ...if the "War on Christmas" people keep this up and make Christmas a solely Christian holiday, well, you can expect more anger and fighting.
...that's why I'm a "moderate" -it's the most logical, most peaceful way. And isn't that what we should all be striving for?
Monday, November 17, 2008
Reality hits with Apex
We adopted a 3 year old dog who was supposed to be housebroken, but we let Apex have the run of the house last night and we had a few problems.
At 2am he woke me up with his face in mine. I tried to get him to leave me alone, but he insisted on having my attention. I decided to get up and let him out in case he needed to go -I knew he didn't have the routine of bedtime and asking to go out down yet since this was his first night with us.
As he and our first dog, Forty-Two were outside I was walking around the (dark) house and I stepped in a puddle. I cleaned it up, let them in, and went to bed without correcting him (I doubt after-the-fact correction really works).
Again, at 2:30am I was woken up by Apex breathing in my face. Immediately I smelled poop and got up to scout it out. He made a nice pile near the front door on the pergo, so at least it was easy to clean up :-\.
At 4am I was awoken by the sound of something being chewed on downstairs and it didn't sound like a bone. All I could see was a black thing between his paws and I hoped it wasn't Ed's brand new shoes. I turned on the light and it was one of his older shoes and I had been lucky enough to catch him before much damage was done. I corrected him and put him in Forty-Two's crate for the rest of the night.
At 2am he woke me up with his face in mine. I tried to get him to leave me alone, but he insisted on having my attention. I decided to get up and let him out in case he needed to go -I knew he didn't have the routine of bedtime and asking to go out down yet since this was his first night with us.
As he and our first dog, Forty-Two were outside I was walking around the (dark) house and I stepped in a puddle. I cleaned it up, let them in, and went to bed without correcting him (I doubt after-the-fact correction really works).
Again, at 2:30am I was woken up by Apex breathing in my face. Immediately I smelled poop and got up to scout it out. He made a nice pile near the front door on the pergo, so at least it was easy to clean up :-\.
At 4am I was awoken by the sound of something being chewed on downstairs and it didn't sound like a bone. All I could see was a black thing between his paws and I hoped it wasn't Ed's brand new shoes. I turned on the light and it was one of his older shoes and I had been lucky enough to catch him before much damage was done. I corrected him and put him in Forty-Two's crate for the rest of the night.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
"Buddy" is now "Apex"
So today we brought Forty-Two to the Naperville Humane Society to meet "Buddy", who we put on hold yesterday with the adoption pending on this meeting. They had us bring Forty-Two into a fenced-in pen and keep him on the leash while they brought out "Buddy". First, they had them meet through the fence. Their tails wagged and they sortof got bored, so they brought "Buddy" into the pen and we kept them apart at first, then slowly brought them together so they could meet on-leash. That went well, so we did a walk side-by-side around the pen. That went okay too although with each step of the meeting process they'd get bored and ignore each other. We were finally allowed to drop Forty-Two's leash and he ran off -away from "Buddy" (for a ball), but eventually they got back to sniffing and there was a little prodding to play. "Buddy" was ok with leaving Forty-Two's toys alone, etc. So it looked like Forty-Two was alpha and when they finally both got off-leash we were given the ok to adopt "Buddy". We brought Forty-Two back to the car, filled out the paperwork, handed over the "donation" and then started wondering how they'd get along on the ride home!
They were fine -Forty-Two in the back seat of the WRX and "Buddy" behind him in the "way back" area of my station wagon. When we got home the Humane Society told us to walk them on-leash around the house before taking the leashes off. We decided, instead, to walk them straight outside and let them off-leash to play where they wouldn't break things.
Well, outside the laid-back and aloof "Buddy" came to life! He and Forty-Two were running like crazy, switching who was in-front and giving the play signal (front paws down, rear up in the air). They were getting along great! And it looks like "Buddy" will help us keep Forty-Two exercised! This may just work out perfectly!
Inside, they were fine and Ed and I tested "Buddy" on his name -he wasn't really reacting to it, so we decided to change it. After some research we decided on "Apex".
We went out to eat and tried putting Apex into his crate, but it turned out he needed a bigger one. Luckily, Forty-Two was ok with Apex using his crate, so that worked out ok too.
They were fine -Forty-Two in the back seat of the WRX and "Buddy" behind him in the "way back" area of my station wagon. When we got home the Humane Society told us to walk them on-leash around the house before taking the leashes off. We decided, instead, to walk them straight outside and let them off-leash to play where they wouldn't break things.
Well, outside the laid-back and aloof "Buddy" came to life! He and Forty-Two were running like crazy, switching who was in-front and giving the play signal (front paws down, rear up in the air). They were getting along great! And it looks like "Buddy" will help us keep Forty-Two exercised! This may just work out perfectly!
Inside, they were fine and Ed and I tested "Buddy" on his name -he wasn't really reacting to it, so we decided to change it. After some research we decided on "Apex".
We went out to eat and tried putting Apex into his crate, but it turned out he needed a bigger one. Luckily, Forty-Two was ok with Apex using his crate, so that worked out ok too.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
We're adopting a 2nd dog!
Today we adopted Apex from the Naperville Humane Society. At first I was iffy on adopting a second dog -I wondered if it'd help occupy Forty-Two, who can be somewhat whiny and needy when I can't give him the massive amount of exercise he needs or if we'd end up with 2 demanding dogs. But, we decided we'd take our chances and look for another dog.
After searching Petfinder.com for an hour or so yesterday we realized we weren't getting anywhere and the Humane Societies were all closing soon, so we just picked one that had a few dogs we liked and ended up at the Naperville Humane Society.
Two weeks before Ed fell in love with a Sheltie in a pet store, then the week after we were at my Mom's as they were profiling dog breeds on TV and Ed decided he really liked Dashaunds and Westies. As we searched Petfinder he was gravitating towards Pit Bulls, which I didn't like at all! Ed was also set on getting a puppy -I wanted an adult. We compromised and were looking for one that was around 6mos old.
So, we get to the Humane Society and go back to look at the dogs and two of them stood out for us. One we had seen online, "Buddy" who was a 3 year old Husky mix and a 9mo old Doberman puppy. Dobermans were profiled on that TV show we were watching and I learned that they were great dogs. In the end, though, Ed liked "Buddy" and we took him first to get to know him. "Buddy was very laid back and kindof aloof, but I did all my usual temperment tests -playing with his paws, ears, mouth, etc then flipping him over on his back -he passed every one. He could care less and he was happy as could be to be petted. He was said to be housebroken, knew "sit", and walked well on a leash. When we were finished it was closing time, so we didn't get a chance to see the Doberman puppy. It didn't matter, though, Ed had made up his mind and we put "Buddy" on hold awaiting a meeting with Forty-Two tomorrow!
After searching Petfinder.com for an hour or so yesterday we realized we weren't getting anywhere and the Humane Societies were all closing soon, so we just picked one that had a few dogs we liked and ended up at the Naperville Humane Society.
Two weeks before Ed fell in love with a Sheltie in a pet store, then the week after we were at my Mom's as they were profiling dog breeds on TV and Ed decided he really liked Dashaunds and Westies. As we searched Petfinder he was gravitating towards Pit Bulls, which I didn't like at all! Ed was also set on getting a puppy -I wanted an adult. We compromised and were looking for one that was around 6mos old.
So, we get to the Humane Society and go back to look at the dogs and two of them stood out for us. One we had seen online, "Buddy" who was a 3 year old Husky mix and a 9mo old Doberman puppy. Dobermans were profiled on that TV show we were watching and I learned that they were great dogs. In the end, though, Ed liked "Buddy" and we took him first to get to know him. "Buddy was very laid back and kindof aloof, but I did all my usual temperment tests -playing with his paws, ears, mouth, etc then flipping him over on his back -he passed every one. He could care less and he was happy as could be to be petted. He was said to be housebroken, knew "sit", and walked well on a leash. When we were finished it was closing time, so we didn't get a chance to see the Doberman puppy. It didn't matter, though, Ed had made up his mind and we put "Buddy" on hold awaiting a meeting with Forty-Two tomorrow!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
What happened to "Conservative" values?
Republicans, "conservatives", from what I've been told, are supposed to work for a smaller roll for Federal government and less intrusion of government on people's lives. That's a concept I whole-heartedly agree with. And they generally keep to that stance when it comes to issues like gun control, the environment, and health care. But since the 90's they seem to have adopted an exception for religious-based "values" issues like gay marriage and abortion.
Why is it that the government should not intrude on our individual freedom to own a firearm, but that the government should decide who has the right to fall in love and sanction that love in all the legal and social benefits of a marriage?
And, as far as abortion -I struggle with my stance on it myself. But, what it comes down to is when life begins. Christianity says it's at conception. Science doesn't know. The law is confused on the issue as well. So, until the issue is decided it's up to the individual based on their beliefs and the situation involved. ...And that's something that's often forgotten -the situation involved. It's not always a 16 year old girl having the abortion. There are situations where it's complicated by incest or rape, when the life of the mother is in jeopardy, or where the quality of life of the child is in question as well. As an example, this story is about a woman who went from a joyous, excited pregnancy to a partial-birth abortion 3 days later. Even though her friends and family (and even her Priest) supported her it was described as the hardest thing she's ever done. ...for her and many others I am pro-choice because I'm against the idea of forcing my **OPINIONS** on others.
I guess my point here is that I believe that the government should not have a place in my bedroom nor should it have a say in what I choose to do to my own body. When the Republican party remembers it's "conservative" stance applies to situations that may upset their Evangelical base like gay marriage and abortion I'll be back.
Part II
Another Republican trait (at least as I saw it growing up) is to protect the idea of capitalism, free markets, and similarly the rights of citizens as outlined in the Constitution. So, why is it that our freedoms have been so sharply curtailed in the last 7 years? After 9-11 Bush and the Republican party have fought for the right to contain US citizens without charges or access to lawyers as well as wiretap and search the private records of citizens without warrants. And then when the Democrats want to introduce national health care plans they call them Socialists. When deciding who to vote for I ask myself: Which is worse? It's not a difficult choice.
Why is it that the government should not intrude on our individual freedom to own a firearm, but that the government should decide who has the right to fall in love and sanction that love in all the legal and social benefits of a marriage?
And, as far as abortion -I struggle with my stance on it myself. But, what it comes down to is when life begins. Christianity says it's at conception. Science doesn't know. The law is confused on the issue as well. So, until the issue is decided it's up to the individual based on their beliefs and the situation involved. ...And that's something that's often forgotten -the situation involved. It's not always a 16 year old girl having the abortion. There are situations where it's complicated by incest or rape, when the life of the mother is in jeopardy, or where the quality of life of the child is in question as well. As an example, this story is about a woman who went from a joyous, excited pregnancy to a partial-birth abortion 3 days later. Even though her friends and family (and even her Priest) supported her it was described as the hardest thing she's ever done. ...for her and many others I am pro-choice because I'm against the idea of forcing my **OPINIONS** on others.
I guess my point here is that I believe that the government should not have a place in my bedroom nor should it have a say in what I choose to do to my own body. When the Republican party remembers it's "conservative" stance applies to situations that may upset their Evangelical base like gay marriage and abortion I'll be back.
Part II
Another Republican trait (at least as I saw it growing up) is to protect the idea of capitalism, free markets, and similarly the rights of citizens as outlined in the Constitution. So, why is it that our freedoms have been so sharply curtailed in the last 7 years? After 9-11 Bush and the Republican party have fought for the right to contain US citizens without charges or access to lawyers as well as wiretap and search the private records of citizens without warrants. And then when the Democrats want to introduce national health care plans they call them Socialists. When deciding who to vote for I ask myself: Which is worse? It's not a difficult choice.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Ginger Pear Crisp
Being off work with extra time on my hands and having overly ripe pears in the fridge, I decided to try to make cobbler out of them. All the recipes I could find online included lemon juice, which I didn't have. Or used more pears than I had (I had 3), so I came up with something on my own. It was good, but I didn't write down what I did. Here's the idea, though, so that maybe I can reproduce it and write down exact amounts next time...
Filling:
It turned out watery and not sweet enough. I sprinkled brown sugar on the top, which helped with the sweetness, and left it in the oven at 200*F for 20 minutes or so, then turned the oven off and left it in there while we went out to a fast food place to eat. When we returned it was less soupy and quite tasty!
Filling:
- Cut 3 pears into slices somewhere between an 1/8th and a 1/4 of an inch thick.
- Dice up about a tablespoon (undiced) of crystallized ginger (maybe a bit less).
- Stir it up.
- Add a sprinkle of vanilla, powdered ginger, cinnamon, and sugar.
- Stir it up again.
- 3/4's of a stick of butter.
- About 1/3 of the ingredients in oatmeal cookies, but substitute ginger for the nutmeg and leave out the eggs.
- Beat the mixture in a mixer -it should be crumbly. If it's too dry, add more butter. If it's not dry enough, add more oats.
It turned out watery and not sweet enough. I sprinkled brown sugar on the top, which helped with the sweetness, and left it in the oven at 200*F for 20 minutes or so, then turned the oven off and left it in there while we went out to a fast food place to eat. When we returned it was less soupy and quite tasty!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Election Poll Results
I'm keeping track of the polling data as displayed on http://www.electoral-vote.com/ here:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pdA43BWeSXQfFhKuw8YrCfA
To easily view side-by-side the changes from 2004 to now and periodically from now until the election.
Why? I don't know. OCD? ...just thought someone else out there might be interested.
http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pdA43BWeSXQfFhKuw8YrCfA
To easily view side-by-side the changes from 2004 to now and periodically from now until the election.
Why? I don't know. OCD? ...just thought someone else out there might be interested.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
unsalted peanuts
The answer to the question "Can you just rinse salted peanuts and use them as unsalted peanuts in a recipe" is yes.
Nice quote on perspective:
Friday, July 25, 2008
VBScript part 2: looping and constants
Looping:
For Each...Next:
These commands let you walk through a collection of objects, do something with each of them, then move on to the next one. You cannot perform a WScript.Echo on a collection because each item in the collection can be assumed to have different properties, so which would it echo? Instead you'll need to use a "For Each"..."Next" loop.
For...Next:
"For...Next" differs from "For Each...Next" in that you need to know how many items there are in the collection in order to use "For...Next" while you do not when using "For Each...Next".
Do While...Loop:
This command runs a script as long as a certain condition is in effect.
Wscript.sleep:
Wscript.sleep pauses the script for the specified period of time (in milliseconds). An example of a one second pause would look like:
WScript.Sleep 1000
...but don't rely on it for scientific measuring of time under a second, it's just not that accurate!
Timer:
The timer function is used to time how long it takes to run a script. You use it once, it counts the number of seconds since midnight, then you use it again at the end and when you subtract the first from the second, you get the length of time that it took to run the script as your result. The variable names that are often used for this are "startTime" and "snapTime".
Constants:
"Const": You define a constant by using "Const" (variable) = (value).
Example: Const DriveType = 3
General Info:
Interacting with programs/services that are already running:
...if the program you're using is already running, like WMI for "GetObject" you do not have to create an instance of the WMI object by using "CreateObject". Instead, you can just get it by using "GetObject".
Line breaks:
An underscore at the end of a line breaks the code into two lines, usually to make it easier to read. When a line that's inside parenthesis is broken up an ampersand ("&") is needed as well.
WMI:
To get information about drives you need to connect to WMI using GetObject("winmgmts:") then you can use a query to select the drives you want.
Time Stamp:
Wscript.Echo Now
Will print out current date and time. Useful for logs. Also can be used to time your script since it reports the time down to the second.
Space ():
The "Space ()" command is built into the language and, therefore, does not need to be defined or declared. It acts like a variable tab command, so you just need to tell it how many spaces you want and it'll skip that many spaces.
vbNewLine:
The vbNewLine command is also built-in, it tells the script to print out a new line.
For Each...Next:
These commands let you walk through a collection of objects, do something with each of them, then move on to the next one. You cannot perform a WScript.Echo on a collection because each item in the collection can be assumed to have different properties, so which would it echo? Instead you'll need to use a "For Each"..."Next" loop.
For...Next:
"For...Next" differs from "For Each...Next" in that you need to know how many items there are in the collection in order to use "For...Next" while you do not when using "For Each...Next".
Do While...Loop:
This command runs a script as long as a certain condition is in effect.
Wscript.sleep:
Wscript.sleep pauses the script for the specified period of time (in milliseconds). An example of a one second pause would look like:
WScript.Sleep 1000
...but don't rely on it for scientific measuring of time under a second, it's just not that accurate!
Timer:
The timer function is used to time how long it takes to run a script. You use it once, it counts the number of seconds since midnight, then you use it again at the end and when you subtract the first from the second, you get the length of time that it took to run the script as your result. The variable names that are often used for this are "startTime" and "snapTime".
Constants:
"Const": You define a constant by using "Const" (variable) = (value).
Example: Const DriveType = 3
General Info:
Interacting with programs/services that are already running:
...if the program you're using is already running, like WMI for "GetObject" you do not have to create an instance of the WMI object by using "CreateObject". Instead, you can just get it by using "GetObject".
Line breaks:
An underscore at the end of a line breaks the code into two lines, usually to make it easier to read. When a line that's inside parenthesis is broken up an ampersand ("&") is needed as well.
WMI:
To get information about drives you need to connect to WMI using GetObject("winmgmts:") then you can use a query to select the drives you want.
Time Stamp:
Wscript.Echo Now
Will print out current date and time. Useful for logs. Also can be used to time your script since it reports the time down to the second.
Space ():
The "Space ()" command is built into the language and, therefore, does not need to be defined or declared. It acts like a variable tab command, so you just need to tell it how many spaces you want and it'll skip that many spaces.
vbNewLine:
The vbNewLine command is also built-in, it tells the script to print out a new line.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Learning VBScript: structure and basic commands
Script Headers:
This is how you start your script; by telling the computer what to expect and how to run the script.
"Option Explicit": You're going to list each variable in the script before it is used. If you don't use this it'll be assumed that any statement that VBScript doesn't recognize is a variable. In order for it to work, though, it must be the first non-commented out line in the script. Option Explicit can also be thought of as a spell checker since it'll give an error if you misspell a variable name later in your code.
"Dim": Declares a variable. (Example: "Dim regComputerName")
"On Error Resume Next": Tells the computer that if it runs into an error it should keep going and try the next line of the script. (You may want to omit this -at least until the code has been tested as it may hide mistakes you'll want to know about.)
Reference Information:
This is the second section in your code; where you assign values to your variables, etc.
Example: (using "regComputerName" as the variable)
regComputerName = "HKLM\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control" &_
"\ComputerName\ComputerName\ComputerName"
HKLM:
The script knows that HKLM stands for HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE, but be aware that it's case sensitive! Also, the &_ is just for continuing the code on a new line.
Avoid typos in registry keys:
To make sure you have the correct registry key, in regedit.exe you can go to the "Edit" menu and choose "Copy Key Name" to copy it rather than trying to type it and risk typos ;-).
Worker Information:
In this section your variables, etc are actually put to work doing something!
"Set": Command used to assign an object reference to a variable. Example:
Set objShell = CreateObject("WScript.Shell")
"Create Object": As used in the example above, this part of an expression assigns a variable name to a reference.
"WScript.CreateObject": 99% of the time this is the same as using "Create Object"
Output:
How you display information.
"WScript.Echo": used to display text in a command window or pop up box depending on how it's run. When run using CScript, it'll write it in a command shell. When you use Wscript.exe it'll write to a Windows dialog box.
Example:
WScript.Echo ComputerName & " is computer name"
Symbol "&": The "&" symbol just puts two things together. Here those two things are the value of "Computer Name and the text "is computer name".
General Info:
Comments: Preface comments with a single quote " ' ".
This is how you start your script; by telling the computer what to expect and how to run the script.
"Option Explicit": You're going to list each variable in the script before it is used. If you don't use this it'll be assumed that any statement that VBScript doesn't recognize is a variable. In order for it to work, though, it must be the first non-commented out line in the script. Option Explicit can also be thought of as a spell checker since it'll give an error if you misspell a variable name later in your code.
"Dim": Declares a variable. (Example: "Dim regComputerName")
"On Error Resume Next": Tells the computer that if it runs into an error it should keep going and try the next line of the script. (You may want to omit this -at least until the code has been tested as it may hide mistakes you'll want to know about.)
Reference Information:
This is the second section in your code; where you assign values to your variables, etc.
Example: (using "regComputerName" as the variable)
regComputerName = "HKLM\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control" &_
"\ComputerName\ComputerName\ComputerName"
HKLM:
The script knows that HKLM stands for HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE, but be aware that it's case sensitive! Also, the &_ is just for continuing the code on a new line.
Avoid typos in registry keys:
To make sure you have the correct registry key, in regedit.exe you can go to the "Edit" menu and choose "Copy Key Name" to copy it rather than trying to type it and risk typos ;-).
Worker Information:
In this section your variables, etc are actually put to work doing something!
"Set": Command used to assign an object reference to a variable. Example:
Set objShell = CreateObject("WScript.Shell")
"Create Object": As used in the example above, this part of an expression assigns a variable name to a reference.
"WScript.CreateObject": 99% of the time this is the same as using "Create Object"
Output:
How you display information.
"WScript.Echo": used to display text in a command window or pop up box depending on how it's run. When run using CScript, it'll write it in a command shell. When you use Wscript.exe it'll write to a Windows dialog box.
Example:
WScript.Echo ComputerName & " is computer name"
Symbol "&": The "&" symbol just puts two things together. Here those two things are the value of "Computer Name and the text "is computer name".
General Info:
Comments: Preface comments with a single quote " ' ".
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Why women quit technology careers -this is insane
Okay, so here's the story that's prompting this post:
IT is a male-dominated field. There are a lot of reasons for this, but they don't really matter because it's just a fact. And IT teams are generally highly stressed, so as stress relief there are usually all kinds of odd jokes and games that are played. It's how it goes, and for the most part it's fun.
Then a woman is hired and gets introduced the team. What happens next? What SHOULD happen next?
The feminists would say that the men need to grow up and anything that might be seen as sexist should cease immediately. The woman should be treated as an equal and be a respected part of the team, right?
But if the goal is equality, then why does the team need to change their culture because a woman walks through the door? Why can't she join in or brush it off? A lot of jobs come with a culture that people need to adapt to in order to fit in. I think anyone switching careers (no matter what they go into) should not only consider the job itself, but the culture. If you don't like suits, don't be an executive. If you don't like seeing little Japanese Anime dolls on desks in provocative poses, don't join IT.
More than half of the women in science, engineering and IT leave the field at midcareer. Here's the reason.
read more | digg story
IT is a male-dominated field. There are a lot of reasons for this, but they don't really matter because it's just a fact. And IT teams are generally highly stressed, so as stress relief there are usually all kinds of odd jokes and games that are played. It's how it goes, and for the most part it's fun.
Then a woman is hired and gets introduced the team. What happens next? What SHOULD happen next?
The feminists would say that the men need to grow up and anything that might be seen as sexist should cease immediately. The woman should be treated as an equal and be a respected part of the team, right?
But if the goal is equality, then why does the team need to change their culture because a woman walks through the door? Why can't she join in or brush it off? A lot of jobs come with a culture that people need to adapt to in order to fit in. I think anyone switching careers (no matter what they go into) should not only consider the job itself, but the culture. If you don't like suits, don't be an executive. If you don't like seeing little Japanese Anime dolls on desks in provocative poses, don't join IT.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Things That Will Kill You: Plastic Packaging
Babies eating plastic bags? Nope, they claim the packaging contaminates the food...
http://green.sympatico.msn.ca/article.aspx?cp-documentid=478795
http://green.sympatico.msn.ca/article.aspx?cp-documentid=478795
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Erica The Dictator On Religion
For over a decade now I've playfully toyed with the idea that one day I'd become dictator for the purpose of evaluating whether certain political or sociological ideas would work for the masses rather than just evaluating them at an individual level. Silly, but it makes the exercise fun and allows me to sneak "when I become dictator" into conversation.
Now that I've completed PaulHarrison1976's videos on The Word of Faith Movement and Prosperity Gospel and moved onto the Faith Healing and Televangelism Series I've started thinking about religion as if I was the dictator. How would I rule?
As a person with a feeling that there's a small chance (less than 50%) that there's a non-personal god out there somewhere ruling on religion is hard. I'm sure Dawkins and Hitchens would just turn churches into museums and teach religion as a fictional, silly thing we used to believe in before science came along with REAL answers.
But I recognize in friends and family a real NEED for religion. My Mom was turned off by the church's greed and stopped going for 20 years because of it. But she always believed and tried hard to raise me as a believer as well. But it just never made sense to me. While she found comfort in religion's answers that required faith, and a plan, and the fallback of "tests" when it all seemed to come crashing down, I just couldn't get over the inconsistencies. As she found comfort in Him watching over her at all times, it felt creepy to me. And she found ways around the uncomfortable parts like her belief (against the church) that all good people go to heaven, not just the ones who go to church and believe in Jesus and all that.
Because of our seemingly innate differences in reaction to religion and hearing the stories of friends and strangers like PaulHarrison1976 online as well as reading some of the research coming out about finding ares of the brain linked to belief and religious experiences, I've come to build a hypothesis that religion cannot be done away with. Some people need it, so clearly something besides abolishing it must be done.
So do I choose a religion for everyone to go with? Invent one? Allow total freedom for all religions?
Looking beyond the individual and focusing on society as a whole, I do see organized religion as a problem. Here I can only talk about Christianity because it's all I have any experience with, but from what I've seen it appears to relate to all. The foundation of organized religion -those ideas you think about first are often: "Love thy neighbor", "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you", "Honor thy mother and father", "Thou shall not kill", and so on. All good messages, of use to any society, non-exclusionary, and fairly universally agreed upon.
It's not until you get to religious organizations that you start getting to the more troublesome aspects of religion: pressure to recruit new members, asserting that THEY are the only true faith and others will be eternally punished, and the false assertion that they know the mind of God (Pope John Paul said there WAS a "limbo", the new guy says there's not -did God change his mind? is one of them wrong and therefore not really talking to God? or has it always been more about their own personal opinions and no one really knows the true mind of God?).
So, I've recently realized that it's that hierarchy that I have an issue with. Once you put a person at the front of the congregation speaking FOR God you've given that person some power because, generally, the people who attend church go to hear the sermon and never cross-check what they hear in that big book with the funny words. Even I tried to sit down and read it, but I didn't get farther than the 2nd creation story. The language in Shakespeare doesn't bother me, but add to it the fact that I just couldn't make much sense out of the stories and my interest faded fast. Even if a person reads the Bible and listens to the preacher, they're more likely to believe the preacher than the book because they are likely to not have much confidence in their reading comprehension as far as the Bible goes, and because he's had years in seminary school to pour over the text and learn about the different translations, etc.
And if the man in the front of the room has power, what about Cardinals and Popes? And what about the money that it takes for this non-profit organization to employ not only that preacher, but that Cardinal, Pope, school, etc. They need a lot of donations to keep their organization running. And that drives the need for membership via "Soul Saving", and the fear that if your friends and family are of a different faith, then you won't be seeing them in the afterlife, they'll be burning in hell (unless, of course, you recruit them).
And that's why religion is unsavory to me, but what's the fix? A non-hierarchal religion of some sort where the power lies in the individual instead of the organization. PaulHarrison1976 is starting to look into the Unitarian Universalist church which, from his description, sounds like a very cool and very nice answer to this question. It's a church that's run like a Democracy that allows individuals to take what works for them in the Christian and/or Jewish tradition, and add or subtract other ideas to their liking. Each person's personal beliefs are respected. Now that sounds more like "Love thy neighbor" doesn't it?
So, to sum up: When I become Dictator, you'll get to choose between Atheism, Agnosticism, or the UUA. I've spoken ;-).
Now that I've completed PaulHarrison1976's videos on The Word of Faith Movement and Prosperity Gospel and moved onto the Faith Healing and Televangelism Series I've started thinking about religion as if I was the dictator. How would I rule?
As a person with a feeling that there's a small chance (less than 50%) that there's a non-personal god out there somewhere ruling on religion is hard. I'm sure Dawkins and Hitchens would just turn churches into museums and teach religion as a fictional, silly thing we used to believe in before science came along with REAL answers.
But I recognize in friends and family a real NEED for religion. My Mom was turned off by the church's greed and stopped going for 20 years because of it. But she always believed and tried hard to raise me as a believer as well. But it just never made sense to me. While she found comfort in religion's answers that required faith, and a plan, and the fallback of "tests" when it all seemed to come crashing down, I just couldn't get over the inconsistencies. As she found comfort in Him watching over her at all times, it felt creepy to me. And she found ways around the uncomfortable parts like her belief (against the church) that all good people go to heaven, not just the ones who go to church and believe in Jesus and all that.
Because of our seemingly innate differences in reaction to religion and hearing the stories of friends and strangers like PaulHarrison1976 online as well as reading some of the research coming out about finding ares of the brain linked to belief and religious experiences, I've come to build a hypothesis that religion cannot be done away with. Some people need it, so clearly something besides abolishing it must be done.
So do I choose a religion for everyone to go with? Invent one? Allow total freedom for all religions?
Looking beyond the individual and focusing on society as a whole, I do see organized religion as a problem. Here I can only talk about Christianity because it's all I have any experience with, but from what I've seen it appears to relate to all. The foundation of organized religion -those ideas you think about first are often: "Love thy neighbor", "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you", "Honor thy mother and father", "Thou shall not kill", and so on. All good messages, of use to any society, non-exclusionary, and fairly universally agreed upon.
It's not until you get to religious organizations that you start getting to the more troublesome aspects of religion: pressure to recruit new members, asserting that THEY are the only true faith and others will be eternally punished, and the false assertion that they know the mind of God (Pope John Paul said there WAS a "limbo", the new guy says there's not -did God change his mind? is one of them wrong and therefore not really talking to God? or has it always been more about their own personal opinions and no one really knows the true mind of God?).
So, I've recently realized that it's that hierarchy that I have an issue with. Once you put a person at the front of the congregation speaking FOR God you've given that person some power because, generally, the people who attend church go to hear the sermon and never cross-check what they hear in that big book with the funny words. Even I tried to sit down and read it, but I didn't get farther than the 2nd creation story. The language in Shakespeare doesn't bother me, but add to it the fact that I just couldn't make much sense out of the stories and my interest faded fast. Even if a person reads the Bible and listens to the preacher, they're more likely to believe the preacher than the book because they are likely to not have much confidence in their reading comprehension as far as the Bible goes, and because he's had years in seminary school to pour over the text and learn about the different translations, etc.
And if the man in the front of the room has power, what about Cardinals and Popes? And what about the money that it takes for this non-profit organization to employ not only that preacher, but that Cardinal, Pope, school, etc. They need a lot of donations to keep their organization running. And that drives the need for membership via "Soul Saving", and the fear that if your friends and family are of a different faith, then you won't be seeing them in the afterlife, they'll be burning in hell (unless, of course, you recruit them).
And that's why religion is unsavory to me, but what's the fix? A non-hierarchal religion of some sort where the power lies in the individual instead of the organization. PaulHarrison1976 is starting to look into the Unitarian Universalist church which, from his description, sounds like a very cool and very nice answer to this question. It's a church that's run like a Democracy that allows individuals to take what works for them in the Christian and/or Jewish tradition, and add or subtract other ideas to their liking. Each person's personal beliefs are respected. Now that sounds more like "Love thy neighbor" doesn't it?
So, to sum up: When I become Dictator, you'll get to choose between Atheism, Agnosticism, or the UUA. I've spoken ;-).
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
My (Experiences With) Religion
I've been listening to / watching PaulHarrison1976's videos on YouTube lately and have found them VERY interesting. He's recently gone from being religious to non-religious and he has shared some pretty personal information about how difficult the transition can be and how lost he is without the culture of religion even though he no longer believes the metaphysical part of it. This jives with my previously formed hypothesis about being religious being something innate in a person -perhaps and aspect of their personality or something. And it's led me to wonder about my own feelings on religion and why it is that while I generally don't believe in Ggod, it doesn't cause me despair. And what about that curiosity that creeps up every once in awhile -that feeling like maybe there is something out there. I guess that in reality I haven't quite excluded the possibility. So, I figured I'd delve into that here, kinda free-form. A stream of consciousness. We'll see what the result will be...
I was baptized Catholic (I'm pretty sure that's what it was) when I was just a baby, but if I ever went to church I don't remember it. As a child I remember my Mom having me say the Lord's Prayer before bed at night as well as sometimes blessing people or asking for something or thanking Him for something else. It all didn't mean much to me as far as I remember it puzzled me, it was a chore, something I just had to do before going to bed -like brushing my teeth.
Somewhere along the line the question of going to church was brought up and I remember my Mom saying that they used to go and that it was good to go, but that they had stopped because the church was more concerned about getting their money than whatever it was my parents thought they should be doing and that it had turned them off. I think that made an impression on me. It made sense and it proved that the bedtime prayers that had stopped and started and eventually petered of entirely were kindof silly or at least part of something that had faults other than delaying my bedtime story.
This all happened before school or while I was in the lower half of K-6 as far as I know. After that there was little talk of religion at home except in the context of Native American spirituality. It's odd because that sounds very hippie-ish, but I was raised in a Rush Limbaugh-loving, ultra right-wing, had a brush with the NWO people, Conservative household. But my Dad owned a copy of "Touch The Earth" and I was enthralled by it. The passages that had to do with spirituality really spoke to me and they were often the ones my Dad had marked in his copy. Most of my reading was done alone, but we'd speak of it from time to time and I remember my Dad confiding in me that his spiritual experiences were more like they were described in Touch The Earth -he felt that killing animals for sport was wrong as in a crime against creation, and he said that while he kept his spirituality to himself just like his Dad did he was taught to give thanks (silently, in his head) when he hunted and killed an animal that was meant to be food. This was a very emotional conversation for me to have with my Dad, so this struck me as much more real than the repeating of words that didn't really make much sense to me before going to bed (Our Father, who art? in heaven, hallowed? be thy name...)
Somewhere in Junior High or early high school a friend of mine became Baptist. It was an overnight change and what it meant to her was that she was no longer allowed to wear jeans -she could only wear skirts or dresses that came down past her knees. She complained at first, then started to accept it. One day she invited me to her church for some event. I said ok, and when we arrived I was put into a small room with maybe 6 other kids and they started telling us about how great the Bible was and read us some passages. I don't know how long it went on, but there were several groups of kids in several rooms doing the same thing. I remember feeling trapped, and feeling much like he was trying to sell me something that I could see right through. When he was done he explained that there would be a big talk afterwards and that we'd have a chance to be Baptized right there if we wanted to take Jesus into our hearts and be Saved today.
We were let out, and sat there and listed to another person ramble on about how important Jesus was and I remember at least one kid being Baptized that day. They had him change into some plastic clothes and they dunked him into a big tank of water in front of everyone. At the time I even knew how wrong it was to ask of kids (under 18) to make a life decision of the magnitude they were talking about (you're making a promise to God that you'll dedicate your life to him and serve him and...). Those who didn't get Baptized were pressured to verbally promise to take Jesus as our personal God and savior. I reluctantly took that promise and still regret it to this day because I didn't mean it and I feel promises are sacred -I was pressured into betraying myself and that's inexcusable to me.
In high school I started wondering about Ggod and religion again as I made friends who went to church and others who believed in other things (Ouija boards, crystals, tarot, etc). The question started being asked -What do I believe?
That question was hard to answer. I was never given a name for Native American spirituality and that evoked images of rain gods, and wood elves, and who-knows-what anyway. Besides, Indians weren't cool... So, I started picking up crystals, playing with my Ouija board (and had some interesting results!). I picked up enough to pass with that crowd and no more. I liked the crystals, they were pretty, interesting from a science point of view, and it made me a part of the "alternative crowd", so I did that on and off for awhile.
During the same time period I was friends with a girl, Heather, who was Methodist and when I spent the night at her house I had to go to church with her. The first time I had visions of that Baptist church, but it turned out that their Youth Group leader was very cool with the fact that I told him flat out that I didn't really believe in the Christian God. He said that was ok and never made me feel like an outsider because of it. In fact, a few times I went with the Youth Group as a chaperone to keep an eye on some of the younger kids as they went canoeing. It was cool, but I reconsidered my beliefs because of it. In fact, I remember one of the times while canoeing the song "The God That Failed" by Metallica came into my head and I smiled thinking about how inappropriate that'd be at the time. (But I respected the group enough to keep that to myself.)
In my Sophomore year my Grandfather, who was the most important person in my life outside of my immediate family, died after 7 long years of suffering with the after-effects of a horribly debilitating stroke. This struck me hard because a few weeks earlier I had prayed for him to die. I never prayed -I didn't feel that there was a God out there that interfered with people's personal lives, but after seeing him lying in that same bed for 7 years while before the stroke he had beat me in a running race around his house I just couldn't bear to see him there, incapacitated, no longer able to eat, see, hear, sit -nothing. It just wasn't fair. But the fact that it came true made me feel strange. Awful for wanting it, happy, sad, regretful, you name it...
This lead to a brief period where I'd pray from time to time. I wrested with a name for my god because I guess I was trying to make myself feel better for stooping to that level by clearly defining the fact that it was not the Christian God that I was praying to. I ended up calling him "Gatekeeper" since that's, to me, what he was. The person who stood between this realm and what comes after... This came and went fairly quickly as it simply didn't work and made me feel silly. In college I revisited this briefly calling God "The Great Mystery" as Native Americans do. The results were the same as with "Gatekeeper": nothing but a feeling of betraying myself and reality.
So, in college there were even more people of various religious beliefs and, for varied reasons, I started feeling like there might be some sort of a spiritual messenger -a personal god that surrounded me. There were a few strange events that led me to that conclusion and with the help of a Native American friend I ended up deciding it was something like a totem animal, which I named "Little Guy" and he'd interfere in my life from time to time (odd events occured, but in retrospect they were all explainable). I toyed with this idea and attributing things to him for a year or two and then he "left", and I started calling myself an agnostic -finally putting that "silliness" behind me since I never really took it seriously to begin with. It was always kind of a nice fantasy that I knew all-along was pretend.
But in my adult life there still seems to be that undercurrent. That tiny possibility of there being something out there. I see science and life itself as awesome. I get what I assume is the same feeling some get about God when I see how well the periodic table of elements comes together or when I think that the sun is producing atoms that in turn make ME! It's amazing and it's all explained by science. That doesn't take away from it's greatness, in fact I think it ADDS to it! The fact that it all came from nothing is WAY more awesome than a God. But, on the other hand, I can't rule out a God, so I guess I leave that 1% chance there. It's a bit of mystery and, in fact, each time I hear of someone dying, I think "they know now". And that's how I think of my own death -it's the time I figure it out, what happens to us when we die?
If there's something waiting for us after death, I hope it's fair and that the creator judges what I did in my life instead of punishing me for the lack of worship. If there's nothing, then it'll be just like before I was born -nothing. Sure, it's hard to wrap your head around that, but in the end it doesn't matter. Today, this hour, this second is what matters. It's life, and it's all anyone's sure that we have!
I was baptized Catholic (I'm pretty sure that's what it was) when I was just a baby, but if I ever went to church I don't remember it. As a child I remember my Mom having me say the Lord's Prayer before bed at night as well as sometimes blessing people or asking for something or thanking Him for something else. It all didn't mean much to me as far as I remember it puzzled me, it was a chore, something I just had to do before going to bed -like brushing my teeth.
Somewhere along the line the question of going to church was brought up and I remember my Mom saying that they used to go and that it was good to go, but that they had stopped because the church was more concerned about getting their money than whatever it was my parents thought they should be doing and that it had turned them off. I think that made an impression on me. It made sense and it proved that the bedtime prayers that had stopped and started and eventually petered of entirely were kindof silly or at least part of something that had faults other than delaying my bedtime story.
This all happened before school or while I was in the lower half of K-6 as far as I know. After that there was little talk of religion at home except in the context of Native American spirituality. It's odd because that sounds very hippie-ish, but I was raised in a Rush Limbaugh-loving, ultra right-wing, had a brush with the NWO people, Conservative household. But my Dad owned a copy of "Touch The Earth" and I was enthralled by it. The passages that had to do with spirituality really spoke to me and they were often the ones my Dad had marked in his copy. Most of my reading was done alone, but we'd speak of it from time to time and I remember my Dad confiding in me that his spiritual experiences were more like they were described in Touch The Earth -he felt that killing animals for sport was wrong as in a crime against creation, and he said that while he kept his spirituality to himself just like his Dad did he was taught to give thanks (silently, in his head) when he hunted and killed an animal that was meant to be food. This was a very emotional conversation for me to have with my Dad, so this struck me as much more real than the repeating of words that didn't really make much sense to me before going to bed (Our Father, who art? in heaven, hallowed? be thy name...)
Somewhere in Junior High or early high school a friend of mine became Baptist. It was an overnight change and what it meant to her was that she was no longer allowed to wear jeans -she could only wear skirts or dresses that came down past her knees. She complained at first, then started to accept it. One day she invited me to her church for some event. I said ok, and when we arrived I was put into a small room with maybe 6 other kids and they started telling us about how great the Bible was and read us some passages. I don't know how long it went on, but there were several groups of kids in several rooms doing the same thing. I remember feeling trapped, and feeling much like he was trying to sell me something that I could see right through. When he was done he explained that there would be a big talk afterwards and that we'd have a chance to be Baptized right there if we wanted to take Jesus into our hearts and be Saved today.
We were let out, and sat there and listed to another person ramble on about how important Jesus was and I remember at least one kid being Baptized that day. They had him change into some plastic clothes and they dunked him into a big tank of water in front of everyone. At the time I even knew how wrong it was to ask of kids (under 18) to make a life decision of the magnitude they were talking about (you're making a promise to God that you'll dedicate your life to him and serve him and...). Those who didn't get Baptized were pressured to verbally promise to take Jesus as our personal God and savior. I reluctantly took that promise and still regret it to this day because I didn't mean it and I feel promises are sacred -I was pressured into betraying myself and that's inexcusable to me.
In high school I started wondering about Ggod and religion again as I made friends who went to church and others who believed in other things (Ouija boards, crystals, tarot, etc). The question started being asked -What do I believe?
That question was hard to answer. I was never given a name for Native American spirituality and that evoked images of rain gods, and wood elves, and who-knows-what anyway. Besides, Indians weren't cool... So, I started picking up crystals, playing with my Ouija board (and had some interesting results!). I picked up enough to pass with that crowd and no more. I liked the crystals, they were pretty, interesting from a science point of view, and it made me a part of the "alternative crowd", so I did that on and off for awhile.
During the same time period I was friends with a girl, Heather, who was Methodist and when I spent the night at her house I had to go to church with her. The first time I had visions of that Baptist church, but it turned out that their Youth Group leader was very cool with the fact that I told him flat out that I didn't really believe in the Christian God. He said that was ok and never made me feel like an outsider because of it. In fact, a few times I went with the Youth Group as a chaperone to keep an eye on some of the younger kids as they went canoeing. It was cool, but I reconsidered my beliefs because of it. In fact, I remember one of the times while canoeing the song "The God That Failed" by Metallica came into my head and I smiled thinking about how inappropriate that'd be at the time. (But I respected the group enough to keep that to myself.)
In my Sophomore year my Grandfather, who was the most important person in my life outside of my immediate family, died after 7 long years of suffering with the after-effects of a horribly debilitating stroke. This struck me hard because a few weeks earlier I had prayed for him to die. I never prayed -I didn't feel that there was a God out there that interfered with people's personal lives, but after seeing him lying in that same bed for 7 years while before the stroke he had beat me in a running race around his house I just couldn't bear to see him there, incapacitated, no longer able to eat, see, hear, sit -nothing. It just wasn't fair. But the fact that it came true made me feel strange. Awful for wanting it, happy, sad, regretful, you name it...
This lead to a brief period where I'd pray from time to time. I wrested with a name for my god because I guess I was trying to make myself feel better for stooping to that level by clearly defining the fact that it was not the Christian God that I was praying to. I ended up calling him "Gatekeeper" since that's, to me, what he was. The person who stood between this realm and what comes after... This came and went fairly quickly as it simply didn't work and made me feel silly. In college I revisited this briefly calling God "The Great Mystery" as Native Americans do. The results were the same as with "Gatekeeper": nothing but a feeling of betraying myself and reality.
So, in college there were even more people of various religious beliefs and, for varied reasons, I started feeling like there might be some sort of a spiritual messenger -a personal god that surrounded me. There were a few strange events that led me to that conclusion and with the help of a Native American friend I ended up deciding it was something like a totem animal, which I named "Little Guy" and he'd interfere in my life from time to time (odd events occured, but in retrospect they were all explainable). I toyed with this idea and attributing things to him for a year or two and then he "left", and I started calling myself an agnostic -finally putting that "silliness" behind me since I never really took it seriously to begin with. It was always kind of a nice fantasy that I knew all-along was pretend.
But in my adult life there still seems to be that undercurrent. That tiny possibility of there being something out there. I see science and life itself as awesome. I get what I assume is the same feeling some get about God when I see how well the periodic table of elements comes together or when I think that the sun is producing atoms that in turn make ME! It's amazing and it's all explained by science. That doesn't take away from it's greatness, in fact I think it ADDS to it! The fact that it all came from nothing is WAY more awesome than a God. But, on the other hand, I can't rule out a God, so I guess I leave that 1% chance there. It's a bit of mystery and, in fact, each time I hear of someone dying, I think "they know now". And that's how I think of my own death -it's the time I figure it out, what happens to us when we die?
If there's something waiting for us after death, I hope it's fair and that the creator judges what I did in my life instead of punishing me for the lack of worship. If there's nothing, then it'll be just like before I was born -nothing. Sure, it's hard to wrap your head around that, but in the end it doesn't matter. Today, this hour, this second is what matters. It's life, and it's all anyone's sure that we have!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Things That Will Kill You: Vitamins
Vitamin supplements may increase risk of death!
Link: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/apr/16/medicalresearch
Link: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/apr/16/medicalresearch
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Do We Fly or Drive On Our Next Vacation?
So, in the last week or so we've heard:
"American Airlines Cancels More than 300,000 travelers were left stranded by American Airlines in one week..."
"ATA Airlines shut down operations and stranded thousands of travelers..."
When airlines go under, fliers find that they have few protections
And a personal story about a mistake in SouthWest's reservation system leading to a sneaky $66 charge for a flight change by The Strobist
Plus our own luggage being lost by American Airlines 6 months ago and the lack of effort as far as getting our luggage back to us in a timely manner so we could enjoy our vacation.
And the decision is easy -we're taking an extra few days off to drive to Canada this year instead of fly. With the fair increases, it should be no more $ than flying even including the gas, hotels, etc. Besides, this way we don't have to worry about lines, getting stuff packed so we can get through security with our various electronic devices and camera gear. Oh, and we know that the $1k plus that we'll pay for an airline ticket won't be simply lost if we're one of the growing number left stranded at the airport when these airlines go under while their already well-paid executives are reportedly doubling their salary. Ridiculous. We'll drive, thanks.
"American Airlines Cancels More than 300,000 travelers were left stranded by American Airlines in one week..."
"ATA Airlines shut down operations and stranded thousands of travelers..."
When airlines go under, fliers find that they have few protections
And a personal story about a mistake in SouthWest's reservation system leading to a sneaky $66 charge for a flight change by The Strobist
Plus our own luggage being lost by American Airlines 6 months ago and the lack of effort as far as getting our luggage back to us in a timely manner so we could enjoy our vacation.
And the decision is easy -we're taking an extra few days off to drive to Canada this year instead of fly. With the fair increases, it should be no more $ than flying even including the gas, hotels, etc. Besides, this way we don't have to worry about lines, getting stuff packed so we can get through security with our various electronic devices and camera gear. Oh, and we know that the $1k plus that we'll pay for an airline ticket won't be simply lost if we're one of the growing number left stranded at the airport when these airlines go under while their already well-paid executives are reportedly doubling their salary. Ridiculous. We'll drive, thanks.
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